Midwife Marley

Marley has practiced midwifery for 11 years. Within the NHS, she covered all aspects of midwifery including antenatal care as a community midwife, labour care, and postnatal care. Her passion for helping women to achieve a positive birth experience encouraged her to train as a hypnobirthing instructor. Marley’s focus is on woman-centred care, helping them to make their own informed decisions throughout their journey to motherhood. She currently provides support outside of the NHS to new and expectants both on and offline. Marley is in the process of writing her first book and is dedicated to ensure that prenatal education is inclusive of all birthing people, paying particular attention to those from marginalised backgrounds.

Transcript
Georgia:

Welcome to the OSHA twins podcast. I'm your host, George and Mitel. Today. We're going to be talking to Molly. Molly has gotten a social media account with a cool stick people doodles, which actually caught my attention. She discusses everything from motherhood, birthing. Fourth trimester and everything in between today, we're going to be talking about midwifery care and her upcoming book. So stay tuned.

Marley:

Hi, Marley. Just wanted to thank you again for doing the OSHA twins podcast. And today we're going to be having a quick chat. Molly is a qualified midwife. I believe you do private practice now, do you still work with NHS?

Georgia:

No, I left the NHS last year, so I'm

Marley:

pretty independent now. Yeah. Being independent midwife and also very active on social media and has a book coming up, but I kind of honestly, twin moms. So that's why she's on the podcast. But the main reason, the main, main conversation I'm going to have, it's kind of just around. Around mid midwifery. And as a lot of new moms go into it, obviously you're walking into something. You have no idea of. So kind of how to judge, if you're comfortable with your midwife things to look out for.

Georgia:

Um, and kind of what, I don't know if you would know what kind of rights a new mum will have, if they feel like they need to make changes and they're not comfortable with certain things, and then we'll go off into your book and all the other exciting stuff that you do. So, um, As a new mom walking in. I know from my, my self, no one really discusses the relationship that you had with have with your midwife. Um, now being a high risk pregnancy, I, even though I was seen every two weeks, I was always seen by different people. Um, I know obviously with the. Five times more, um, black people, black women being five times more likely to die from childbirth. That they're one of the solutions is continue. Oh God, can I misspeak today? Continuity of care. That's the word? And one, I would probably ask you as well. How realistic is that? Because with the. The nature of, of birthing is so unpredictable. So how do you, what, what's your kind of take on that and the realist, how will it stick is, you know, what this whole discussion around continuity of care has been going on since well, this, before I qualifies and I started playing to midwife midwife back in 2005, we were, we were talking about continuity of care back then, and we're still talking about it now. Um, and we know that. Having the same midwife or the same team midwives, because it's not realistic unless you, unless you are, unless you're an independent midwife and you're assigned to look after antenatally, then you're on call and then you go to visit her postnatally. It's not realistic. Um, really it was an NHS one, one midwife to follow them through. So what we used to say so many years ago, when I was training, we had them. Uh, I, I worked within a small team, um, but domino midwives and what they did was so they'd have like two or three midwives assigned to one woman. So what it meant was w who would you call her through the pregnancy, through the birth and then pregnancy school? Is, is it the midwife who gets now all three of them? Yeah. And the, any one of them? Could be available for the birth, right. Because what we got to remember is midwives have families, sick midwives, children that might break an ankle or something, you know, so you never know, or might be on holiday when you go into labor. So you can't, I think it's, yeah, it's, it's pretty unrealistic to expect. Um, You know, to have real continuity with one person, but I think working in a small team, what would, would work, some trusts have started to implement that. Right? We have some women that we'll see, um, just, you know, between one and three midwives through her pregnancy, she knows all of them. She just got to know them all. And she knows when she goes into labor, it's going to be one of those midwives. Um, but not all trusts, um, are kind of offering this at the moment. And also it depends on things like. Whether you all, um, classes, high risk. If you are high risk, when you've got a heart condition or you're carrying triplets or something, then the likelihood is you're going to be seeing, um, a mixture of doctors and midwives. So you'll probably see the consultant, some appointments or one of the consultants team. And then you've probably seen a midwife as well, but when you guys get birth, that doctor isn't on-call or those midwives aren't working. You're going to see whoever's on the one at a time. Yeah. It's really tricky. We do know that it does make a difference. I mean, even now the clients, I have the women that I see through pregnancy, um, there were saying to me, you know, that they feel much more comfortable. Um, you know, because they've got one with, with one of my, one of my most recent clients, she shares her care between me and the NHS. So she's still got all that energy. But she sees me as well. And she said to me, the other day, she said, Molly, you know what this is? And she'd had a baby a few days ago. I said, you know what? You're the only person I've seen consistently throughout. And, um, whenever she went to her appointments was a different one every time. And also you got to consider the midwives work in patterns. So when I was going to get the NHS midwife, I went part-time because of my children. I could never work. The job is very, very stressful. It's rewarding. Very stressful. Yeah. And, uh, I, I rate my, my colleagues who, who work 40 hour weeks because it's never 40 hours. It's always more than that and incredibly draining. So when you're only working like me, I was doing that 22 and a half hours to two days, one week, three days the next week. Um, there are going to be times when you or someone else is going to be running your clinic because you're not in on that then. Of course, you know what I mean? So, yeah. It's a difficult one. It does. It can make a difference if it happens, but it's trying to include that

Marley:

of courses. Are they even willing to look at changing whole patterns of work people's pattern of work and things to make it happen is, is, is a huge, it's a huge task. Um, so as a new mom coming into to meet their midwife, Kind of what, what would you kind of suggest as the things they should, maybe even us for their own self, or just be aware of if they feel like, you know, maybe they're not getting the care that they need.

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Um, so this happens quite often, you know, somebody will come and go in to get books, like book an appointment or something isn't there, you know, immediately they're like, I'm, I'm not, you know, I don't connect well with this person that's health professional. And, um, if that happens, whether it be a midwife or a doctor, then you're well within your rights to, um, ask for a change. Now, obviously, you know, you're not going to sort of say there and then, Hey, I don't want you, can you go and find it? So what you would do if, if you feel like, um, perhaps you're having a conversation and. You don't get home with that person or they, um, I'm listening to, to, to what your hopes and your wishes are for your pregnancy and for your birth, then you can contact, um, the antenatal clinic manager or the head of midwifery and just say, Hey, um, would, would it be possible for me to mean to change midwife? Yeah. Or change doctor. Um, and they are obliged to do that.

Marley:

I know my case, in my case, it was the con consultants. I didn't didn't, I didn't like, um, someone that I didn't like, I just didn't like the way I felt like they spoke at me not to me. And it was very much so, um, Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just telling me you're going to have a service area and we're booking you in around this day and whatever, and I'm sitting in the boat. I don't want to have this as area. No, because I have an issue with Aaron, but if I don't need it, I don't want it. Like, I don't want, I'm going, gonna have two babies to look after, you know, Marvel half self-employed I've got stairs in my flat light, you know, it's just, all these things are running through my mind. So. And then I was going to King's every two weeks for my scans. And then I was getting a completely different energy and vibe from them. I've been told that they're like, Oh yeah, you can, you know, you can be through lots of twin natural births. That's that's no, that's no issue. So for me it was just like, I'm not, I didn't feel supported. So I ended up changing my whole. Hospital, but yeah, I wasn't happy. I went to two, two different appointments that said hospital and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't. This is this. I left there feeling anxious. I didn't leave there feeling positive that I was going to go and have my babies. So I just, I changed my whole hospital. And when I usually tell people that they're quite surprised, but it was a bit of a process. I'm not even going to it. Wasn't an easy process. It took a few weeks, but it can be done. It can be done. It can be done. Um, how do you feel obviously? Cause I don't, you, you, so did you leave during the pandemic or just after, before who? Just before. Okay.

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I kind of felt guilty because I mean, when I, so I had my, my last, my fifth baby in 2019 January, and then. By the following January, I was, um, basically leaving the NHS, um, cause my, my little girl, she was one and at that point and trying to juggle everything that was kind of like part of me that was. I wanted to be able to give better care to women. And I felt that if I worked independently, I'd have more time right now. If I ever visit one of my clients, rather than having a rushed 10 or 15 minute appointment in and out the door, I sit in a house and chat to her for hours and make sure we've done thoroughly. Yeah, I was at no. And obviously because of my, my personal life, my children do the school run, but there was a sense of. Oh, no, I've left them as a pandemic to my colleagues. And now they're all, you know, and I've watched enough see watching the TV. And I was hearing, I mean, I just kind of started up on Instagram at that point and I was kind of watching, um, uh, my midwifery colleagues go and do like RGM RG lives and things. And talk about how difficult everything was. I'm like, Oh my gosh, kind of left your limits. There was a sense of guilt, but then. Off speaking to other people that don't know Molly, you've done 11 years working and giving your all, and you've done your bit and you've done all that while she was raising a family. So don't feel guilty. Don't feel bad about it. You're still helping women. Um, and I'll continue to do so online, you know, at that point. So at that point I was getting about 30, 40 DMS a week from people and I would answer them, I would ask them and then pandemic hit and, um, I start getting about three to 400 a week. Yeah, I can't, I just can't keep up with everyone's personal questions, but it was obviously really anxious. Um, you know, Michael half's heroin. He, he caught me at one in the morning messaging somebody, and it's going to be like, Molly goes to sleep. What are you doing? You can't be everyone's here. Right. You can't save everybody and help everyone. So yeah, it was, but that was me trying to make up for leaving the NHS. Kind of do my, do my thing, do my part, you know,

Marley:

but then as I've been reading recently about the expected Exodus of doctors and midwives and nurses out of the NHS to how they feel they've been treated during this pandemic, which is understandable, I've just been having those private conversations with people and I'm like, I'm more, would be surprised if there's hardly anyone left. By the end, by the end, because of how they have they been treated and you, then you're not going to give them, you know, nurses and doctors, a pay rise and things like that. And it's just, yeah.

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When you think about midwives of how much they're paid, you look at midwives in the United States, not labor and delivery nurses, who I like midwives, but they just don't catch the baby. They do everything else. The baby. They get paid like twice, three times as much. Yeah. And it's just not what, you know, what is going on for, for what, what we do over here and those doctors as well, because you've got the junior doctors that are running around, you know, they kind from Annie to department to department, um, and they're totally rushed off their feet and shattered. Okay. They do get paid more. Um, but still it's not, I still don't think, um, Unless you're a chairman or consultant that you don't really get paid for what you do for

Marley:

yeah, definitely. Cause I I've, I've got a family that, um, I've got gone into midwifery and I've got a doctor and literally I said to them, okay, if you're going to do it, just to make sure you've got exit plan to leave, because I know that might sound bad, but it's just like, you get. You can work in another part of the world, get paid more. Your workload is not so intense or it isn't tense, but you know, you just give them more support. Cause, you know, I've met the family member. That's a doctor. You can't even answer, like, don't even ask her how her day is. She doesn't want to talk black. Don't ask her how work is. She doesn't want to talk about it. Like what? She's not there. She's just, she's left it behind. And she wants to be totally out of that system while, while she's not at work. So I get it. I get it. But we're going to talk a bit about your kind of your social media is your platforms grown. And, um, I don't know if, as a result of your social media, but you now, um, Right in a book or written a book. Can you give us interests what that's about and kind of what you're talking about? Yeah.

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Until so, um, my social media, my Instagram account grew quite quickly actually last year. Um, and so I'm on like a hundred thousand now, which is like, Oh my gosh, I think it's a hundred thousand people actually want to listen to what I've got to say the last year. I I'd always wanted to write a book. Hmm, always. And for years I always thought, you know, people just regular people just don't get book deals. And I know you can publish, you can, you know, you can get 5,000 pounds and go and print yourself a load of books, but then you have to do everything yourself, the marketing copy

Marley:

selling it, everything.

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I haven't got time for that. But then to get a book deal with a publisher. Regular people just don't get it. And that's actually what I do, but I would notice the start, but anyway, it did help having the pattern does help because when you've got a big platform book agents or literary agents and publishers look at you more, they do know that you've got people to sell the book to. Yeah. I kind of, I kind of use that, I guess, to my advantage and, um, So, you know what I was going to go for it. Um, I, I approached this reagent and she said, yeah, that'd be fantastic. I couldn't believe that she actually opened my, my, my email. Um, and when first the book is, um, is basically mid midwife Marley's guide for everybody pregnancy birth. So it's a, it's a manual really about getting through about pregnancy to expect. I've written as much as I possibly can on all aspects of pregnancy, a bit like a. Almost like an encyclopedia, but it's going to be illustrated with my little drawings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Marley:

I'm terrible. I have no artistic skills in that department. So when I saw what was that, you know, what I could relate to these,

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my son is my oldest son. He he's great. He's an, he's a, he's an artist. He can draw. Portrays. He's amazing. He's got talent. I haven't got that skill, but I thought, you know what? I can do stick people, you know? So this is trying to kind of get my point across to illustrate the point. Yeah. Nothing was, you know what, I'm going to try and teach people about pregnancy and birth, make it a little bit humorous at points and do it through these, these silly little doodles. And, but the literary agent loved it. And she said, let's use those in your book. So. The book is because there's loads of pregnancy books. I mean, how many authors loads, hundreds, thousands. Um, so I don't want to just be one of them. I wanted to do something that was different with that, um, focus on pregnancy and birth and how to, how to pay yourself for positive birth. I'm going to take focus off cause on the fourth trimester, because there's not enough. Most of the pregnancy books they'll talk about pregnancy and birth and then it kind of a little bit about afterwards, that's it? Well, I've tried to be a bit more extensive going rough three months after birth, and then to get through through those, those nights, when your baby's just screaming nonstop, or it feels like they're feeding nonstop, um, and drawing on my experiences as a midwife, but as a mum as well to kind of combine them both together. And yeah, so the book is, um, is going to be released officially next spring. It's available for pre-order, but you know, they've got. Uh, a lot to do between now and then, and I'm late.

Marley:

Yeah, because it becomes real, even though, you know, you've been working on, I see the end product. I'm sure it's going to be amazing because, um, the week that I'm actually interview is maternal mental health week. And you kind of just mentioned about having a positive. Birth experience and kind of, what do you, what should like general tips on how a woman can, can prepare? Cause I know for myself, I honestly just felt like I would, you know, you're just thrown, obviously thrown into the deep end. My goals were, you know, I didn't expect to have twins and then there were premature I'd thought a house was totally not prepared, but so even though I did do reading and stuff, I still didn't feel prepared. So just kind of any general tips that you would give people for positive.

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Well, some people will say, um, Oh, there's no point with buttons. And I point right in the brass band panic, because you know, it just goes out the window, but I don't agree with that line of thinking. Um, and the reason that I don't agree with it is because birth preferences need to fill yourself with knowledge is to understand about birth, help us work. To be able to decide what it is you think you would like what you're hoping for things like food. You want to cut the cord and, you know, just, just general things like that. Um, and then you can kind of plan out what you, what you're hoping for. So that, that person who's looking after you in labor knows what your wants on your wishes are. I can try to help you work towards that. It's not about being unrealistic. It's not about, Oh, well, you know, you write a plan and then it all just goes out the window. That's not necessarily the case. If you, if you build stuff up as much knowledge as possible, then you can work towards having a positive experience. So I, I talk about steps having an empowering birth. And most of the majority of people I am to have a straightforward vagina birth. You get some people who are scared of childbirth and who want to optimize this area. Most of us will strive towards having a. Complication intervention free. Right? So the first thing I would say is learn, learn about let as much as you can about us, you know? Um, I, um, I had, uh, from being on the labor ward once and having a call from a dad, um, really worried dad, and I said, my wife's 40 weeks pregnant today. Suggest, okay. And he said, she's not going to labor, you know, what do we do? What, what do we do? Do we come in? Or, you know, so he, so they ha they didn't have, they hadn't educated themselves about yeah. Pregnancy, the length of pregnancy, the fact that they can go overdue that your due date due date, um, we don't necessarily say, Hey, now you're 40 weeks come in and let's get things going. Um, so just having that knowledge about how birth works, knowing. When to go into the hospital or into the best center, once we midwife, if you having a home birth, uh, understanding about the physiology of that and the fact that yes, it can take some time. Some people have been quick, some people have difficult ones, um, learning what you can do to make the process easier, or to help many procedures like perennial massage to reduce the risk of having tears. Eating dates to, um, shorten the level of help shorten the length of your labor to make those easier eating well in pregnancy, uh, exercise. And if you can roll their eyes when I talk about exercise, but studies have shown that if you have a healthy diet and exercising, it's like 20 minute walk a day, a day, that your chances of having a smooth, shorter labor, a much higher, you know, the things like that. And, um, Choosing the right birthing environment, which includes, I say environment. I mean, not just what's around you, but also who you have with you as a birthing partner. If you've got your birth partner and they are an absolute, you know, emotional wreck, that's not the sort of person, you know, and if that's your, if that's the other parent of the baby, then to someone else as well, get someone else in there with you, if you can let these difficult at the moment, because we're in a pandemic, but. You need somebody with you that is going to be supportive. Not, not someone who's going to make you panic, because if they make you panic, then your adrenaline is going to go up and it's just going to make your labor a lot more complicated. You know what I mean? So, yeah, she's in the right environment, the right birth partner, um, Making sure you do your research, pay your body and also pairing your mind as well. I mean, you probably know that I teach a thing and a lot of people are like, Oh my gosh, you're going to change my mind. No, it's not about that. It's about, it's about helping to, um, kind of eliminate fear and calm. It's not guaranteed. You're going to have the perfect birth. What, what it will do is just to help you focus and kind of reset and to keep your. And the positive hormones flowing rather than the adrenaline, which is going to stop the labor process rather than kind of keep it going. So there are so many things that you can do. It's not about, let's just try and wing it. I'm pregnant. I'm just going to wing it now and see what happens. So when you go into the birthing room, when you go into labor labor room, you're not going to have a clue. People are going to be walking towards you, offering you this, that, and the other need to be like, what what's that? What's that I don't know what that is. Did you have educated yourself on it? So knowledge is, is key. No,

Marley:

definitely. I definitely agree with that. And also I just want to speak because, um, sometimes I feel like I'm in a catch 22 because we've my, my experience. Um, you know, there was a lot of trauma, there are stuff, and I don't mind sharing to share knowledge or the other people know that the feelings that they might be have, it's not abnormal to fill those feedings. But some of us, our pharma, social media, sometimes they get, we get stuck at the tomb apart. There's no conversation which are which how to get past it, or what does the healing journey. That's why I was quite happy with the maternal health week this week, that is about journey, journey to healing. Um, so if, if, if you, I don't know if you have clients that might have had bad experience or not bad, but. You know, some sort of trauma there, how do you support them and what kind of you do you suggest for them to kind of move past and not be stuck in the trauma and move on to their healing?

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Yeah, I think, um, cause I do have a few clients that have had, um, not so great experiences first time around, which is one of the reasons why they've kind of, um, come to me to kind of help get the support for, for the next birth. Um, I think the first thing is to. If we're talking about talking about birth trauma is to understand what happened and why, because any kind of explanation for it, because all too often, women have, will have traumatic birth experiences and they won't know why. What, why, why did that happen? Why, why was that? Why was I given this? Why did this, you know, why did I have to have an emergency cereal? Um, why did I have, have an episiotomy? Nobody explained it to me. Hmm, multiple tools. We'll have a debrief service, so you can call up, even if it's like a year later or you're pregnant again and say, Hey, I need to speak to somebody about what happened to my birth and what they would do is I'd invite you in for an appointment. They'll get your old notes out and they'll sit down and talk you through everything. And that gives you the opportunity to ask questions and what you know, what happened and why, because when you're in labor, Often you use this vulnerable state, your, your mind's everywhere. Um, and also you're not hearing what people are saying. So to be able to kind of reflect in hindsight and to have somebody that is a lot of them are not for everybody, but that is a good way to kind of start the healing process. And then from that, if you're pregnant again, finding a care provider, um, whether it's a private or NHS, someone that is willing to kind of. Help you work towards a better experience. Yeah. Yeah. Second or third time round, because you need that support, you know, you need, you need to have somebody that's kind of on your page and that will help you. Yeah. Have you kind of work towards more of a positive experience and then if you're feeling like it's, you know, things that aren't right. Perhaps you accept with anxiety or depression, there are other services out there as well. Some, some NHS trusts who have a perinatal mental health service that work with you through your pregnancy, towards, you know, your next birth. Um, not all certain all areas do, which is a bit of a shame we've still got the midwives still go help us to help us, because I think now they get in contact with you antenatally as well. So you can read health, visitor, GP, and there's other charitable organizations such as pandas, which are. Uh, like I'm 10 or mental health awareness. Um, often lots of advice there. There is. There are there are organizations out there? Yeah, no, I'll be better than willing to listen and help and move forward for bet. For a better experience.

Marley:

Okay. Yeah. Cause I said I had to, for me, it took a while because I think especially, you know, how is the first year you're in survival mode anyway. So you kind of just, and cause my, when you have sick, sick children, you're not at the forefront of your mind. You can, you know, you're just worried about your children. And then it took about a year and a half for me to like sit back and be like, no. Okay. And I need to, I need to delve into this now I need to deal with it because I could feel. But, you know, you just know that something's not right. There's a feeling there's just a feeling that, and every time I would think about my birth or just think about that whole experience, I would get upset. I might not outward the accent, but I could feel it on myself that I was getting upset. So that's something that I had to work through. But, um, I got to a point was like, no, I need to. I need to, I need to deal with it, but I just find sometimes because I get messages from I've literally had messages from people who would like their child's in NICU and they're messaging me like what tips or what do I suggest? And then they've come back to me a couple months later and just said, no, you know, the things that you've mentioned really, really helped. So it was good to, it's good to know, but those kinds of things I think you've spoken about now, when I first kind of popped onto social media, after I had my children, it still was very much. Oh, you know, I've had my whole birth and here's my baby. And there was no, no, have a conversation outside of that. So I know it can feel quite, I know my case. It can feel quite isolated when you don't know where to go. Cause everyone's just talking about their great experience. And when you didn't have one, but you feel quite isolated.

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There's lots of people who don't have the best experience, you know, lots and lots and lots, but there's women knowing that. They're not alone, that there are so many people out there who haven't had the best rest experience. And yes, you know, I'm all for thinking positively because when you're not pregnant, when you're, when you're pregnant, um, trying to avoid negative best stories because that's definitely, but at the same time, you know, you need to be educated on, on, on, on all eventualities. You need to, um, in the postnatal period, Have realistic expectations of what it's going to be. You know, the amount of people who shocked me, who I will visit when they had a baby and they genuinely seem shocked about the amount of time baby spent crying in the night, you know, they genuinely did not realize it would be like that unless it was who was looking off this couple in the pregnancy. Hmm, do you want me? No, one's not safe. Then babies cry at night. They often babies will often sleep during the day. I would often cry and scream all night long. Why aren't, why aren't these parents being told this why they said, why are they being set these expectations? You know? Cause they, they haven't been told they haven't told otherwise the amount of parents that will have a baby and just assume that they just. Wake up once in the night for a feed and go back to sleep. Oh my God.

Marley:

cause I believe she had friends cause I'm very conscious of that. I know I've had a negative experience, but unless my friends specifically asks me or prenup, I don't go into it with them because that definitely doesn't mean it's going to be your, your, um, You want to experience, but two of my friends, she said to me, you're the only person who's given it to me who like, wrote, like you've given me a not. So that now that I've gone into is actually reality. I don't know why. I don't know why we gloss over it. Cause even I said to my mum about the night sweats, And then when I, when I was going from, I was talking to my mom was like, mom, why didn't you tell me this? Like, no one speaks about the night sweats or the crap that the cramping, you feel something when you're going back. My mom was just like, you don't want to scare her. I didn't want to scare you. But you know, this is, we would hold a blight though. We used to talk

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about this stuff because it had no clue. No clue. It's so, so important. I mean, I've, I've done posts on, um, talking about, um, the after pains, especially the more children you have, the worse it gets. I mean, gosh, I remember what my last baby, um, being in hospital cause like I breastfed and um, this was, this was like a day later, 24 hours later. And I'm driving around on the bed with these cramps. I have to have more. But I knew that because each time I had a baby, but worse and worse and worse. So for me to say, to say to women, you know, you may, you might not, but you may experience cramping, pain after birth. And, um, if you've had one baby it's it's, it tends not to be that bad, but by the time he gets to like four or five, it can be like, almost like you're going back into a labor again. And that's because if I didn't tell you that and you suddenly started having these pains off, you'd think that something's wrong, but is there another baby in there? Is there a twin that we've forgotten about? You know, for some people personally, for me, that's how it felt round honestly felt like I was a neighbor again. Um, and also things like talking about how long you leave for after the birth. I mean, some people don't realize that it can go on for weeks and weeks and weeks a week. Do you know what I mean? You know, it's just, just being kind of candid about certain things. Not what I wouldn't do is, um, openly say to someone who's pregnant without them, without them asking me. Yeah. Yeah. I had a horrendous experience, you know, I was, I was co left. Right. And, you know, I wasn't, by the way, but if, you know, if I was put in the, any, which way. I mean, what would that do to somebody who's having a baby that's scared of death with them and not put them in the right mindset mindful. So it's knowing what to say and knowing when and when to say it. Yeah, it's really, really, really intended for me. So I was just

Marley:

gonna round up. Cause we haven't really touched on that. You're you're allowed to say, Oh gee, twin mum, your, your voice.

:

13

Marley:

teen, teen teenage men. Um, any, any tips or anything you would say for twin moms that were on the early end or, you know, like early or toddler stage, just have to cope any tips there?

:

Yeah. Well, the only thing I can say is. Get yourself, try and get into a routine early when they're born. Something that I didn't do. And I didn't. And I, and I didn't clue. I'd never had, I'd had one baby, but I never had to before, um, I was doing the whole feed on demand thing. And that was no, no, not when you've got not, not when you've got to, you know, you have to feed them both at the same time. Otherwise I'm having running rings around you. Um, Get help. You know, if you, if you've got support, if you've got offering help and just take it, especially when they're, especially when they're toddlers or their babies. I mean, I have someone who used to come around to hold them or to help me just go get in the shower because I couldn't fit both bounces. They would, they used to be in these little baby chairs or my friend's movie. I would put him in the chair on the floor, in the bathroom and I had a shower. So I could just keep it on him too. My Baltimore's so small at the time I couldn't fit, fit them in there. So like, I can't, I don't want to get in the shower and have them on my side, even though they couldn't crawl. And then, um, I wanted to have them within, within sort of eyesight. So just having someone come around and help me was, was it was, it was a massive help, you know, um, for tech support, if you can, and just, don't be too hard on yourself, there's no wrong or right way with twins. You just sometimes. Um, I'm all for preparation and routine, but sometimes you have to wing it sometimes, especially when you've got one running off in one direction, one and the other, you just do whatever you, whatever you feel is right. Pressure on yourself. And they will get to an age where, you know, they're not, it's not so much hard work, you know what I mean? And one of the good things about having twins I will say is that I've found in comparison to having my singletons is that. They entertain each other.

Marley:

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm getting at that stage now, so that's good.

:

They're not all, they're not all over me so much. Like we, my, my single babies, they're very breakfast. They need to me raping me. Whereas with the twins. They were great. Like I put them in nursery and they wouldn't scream too much topics. They had each other, you know what I mean? Yeah. Definitely sides to it as well.

Marley:

Yeah. We get into that stage where they would literally be in their room and playing and I'm like, wait a minute, you've been a bit quiet. I'll go in. And they're like, well, maybe we're playing. I'm like, Oh, okay. Okay. I'll go. You know? Um, yeah, we're finally getting to that stage because earlier on it still was like, Yeah, like play with me and, you know, we'll, we'll play together, but we get into the station. So it's nice. But I just want to say, thank you, man. I know you're super busy, so I appreciate the time. And, um, you know, I follow so w we'll we'll be in each other's DIA was always speak soon.

Georgia:

Thanks for listening to the OSHA twins podcast. You can find me Georgia Martel at OSHA twins on Facebook and Instagram. And my website is OSHA twins.com. I'll be posting new episodes once every two weeks. And in the meantime, you can like comment and subscribe.

About the author

Georgia is a mother who has decided to live out loud after motherhood took the wind out of her! From finding out she was going to be a mother of twins, then them being born at 27 weeks (two and a half months early), it was a rollercoaster but sharing the whole experience on platforms such as Make Motherhood Diverse has reminded her that she wasn’t alone despite not feeling included in the mainstream vision of motherhood.
Georgia regularly shares the realities of being a mother of twins on her Instagram page while still craving her own piece of the world. It’s a mixture of meltdowns and giggles and Black British Motherhood in all its glory.
Georgia has a background in beauty as a qualified make-up artist and eyelash technician. She ran a beauty business providing pamper treatments for private and corporate clients, and has also worked on a multitude of events including influencers book launches for Zoella and Tanya Burr, and brands such as Wilko and Pixi beauty. Despite her love for beauty, she is fully aware of the lack of diversity and poorly executed campaigns when brands want to appear diverse.

Georgia is a confident communicator and loves to chat about all things motherhood, womanhood and diversity (or the lack thereof) in the media and beauty world, all from a Black British Londoner perspective.

Feel free to contact Georgia via the contact page.

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