‘Body Confidence’

If you follow my Instagram you know I went to Turkey last month. It was my first holiday since I had my girls and dun dun duuuun my post-babies’ body. It’s easy to forget about the changes when you’re covering it up with maternity clothes or the few items I have had to purchase because nothing else fits.

I will admit while sitting on my sofa with my babies I would scroll through old holiday pictures with my slimmer frame which I never had to do much for. Even when I started ‘filling out’ once I hit 25 I wasn’t uber concerned. I did train a little because I wanted a four pack but never stuck at it.

So now my clothes actually don’t fit and I had to buy my first all in one swimsuit since childhood. Once I got boobs, it was bikinis and I never looked back till now. On my holiday, I felt mumsy with my all in one swimsuit and my FUPA (Beyoncé said it so can I). I didn’t like any pictures of me in my swimsuit which is a first. There is nowhere to hide my new found lady lumps.

On Instagram I don’t feel like I fit in the ‘embrace and love your now changed body’ group because some days I don’t, and I really don’t appreciate the stretch marks I now have on my thighs.. Let me just make this clear I don’t hate my body to jump on an operating table but I just ain’t loving it right now. Am I the only one? So where do I sit in the world between of the sometimes overbearing LOVE YOURSELF movement and the GAINS sweat-less fitness photos in the gym changing room mirror. I don’t know, it’s something that I can honestly say I don’t think about all the time. I am mostly reminded when I have to go out and I remember that I have somewhere to go and nothing to wear. The thought of buying a whole new wardrobe is something I have no interest in doing.

Is it shallow to say I prefer and want my pre body back? It was nowhere near perfect but I appreciated it.  

So I am now working out, to get back to a UK 12 and to fit into a particular dress that I only wore once before I had my girls. It’s not a joyous occasion because I don’t enjoy working out and I know most of the work is my eating habits which have gone out the window since having the girls. But it’s got to be done and I am hoping that once I get to a certain point I may even start enjoying it.



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