World Prematurity Day – My Story

TWINS???! I remember the utter shock when I found out! We were trying for just under a year and I was starting to think something was wrong.So to go from that to twins I could not believe it.

So to go from that to twins I could not believe it.

I was classed as a high-risk pregnancy with scans every 2 weeks. I was constantly made aware of the risks, and going into labour early was one of them. Despite all of this my new mother

Despite all of this my new mother naivety I was pretty calm. For some reason I fixated on 32 weeks and didn’t even consider giving birth before then.

I was in hospital for three nights with cramps before I gave birth, and my cervix had opened 1cm. During these three nights I would run through my daily events trying to pick up on anything that caused me to end up in hospital. My mind was in panic. What would happen if I do go into labour? Would they survive? If they do survive will they be ok?

The ultimate feeling of not being prepared. But how do you prepare for a situation like this? YOU CAN’T! Then it hits you like a truck – did you really think you were in control?!

It didn’t help me to prepare for giving birth and the pain of pushing when I didn’t want to.

27 weeks. IT WAS TOO EARLY.

I can still hear them preparing the intensive care cots. It went from my fiancé and midwife to around 8 additional people just waiting for my girls to come. When my firstborn arrived I just kept on asking if she was OK. No loud cry like the TV, rather the sound of suction and doctors chatting to each other. Yes. I was told she was fine now I had to push her sister out.

My contractions had stopped but started up again reminding me I still had work to do. I struggled with her… I was pushing but nothing, my midwife leaned into my face and said ‘Georgia you need to push, I can’t help she is too small’. It’s amazing how those words made me forget about the pain and she was out. 30 minutes difference between my girls. I could see the back of the team that was working on her again. No loud cry just the sound of medical equipment. Then they were gone with my second girl aka ‘Twin 2’. I didn’t see both of them. There was no skin to skin contact. For someone who wouldn’t classify herself as maternal, I was taken aback by how much my body craved to just hold them.

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The thought of this still hits a raw nerve now.

The room was empty again and I just sat there asking when I could see them. I was told it wouldn’t be for a few hours as I had to let the Doctors work. I had a bath and suddenly felt an intense feeling of loss. I gave birth but they were not with me. I touched my belly and it was empty. I was later moved to a ward with women that had children in intensive care as well. But it didn’t stay that way which ripped an already open wound. I finished giving birth at 14:00 and didn’t see them till 21:00. I had never seen babies so small and the constant beeps of the machines made me nervous. The staff explained what the machines were doing. I couldn’t remember any of it. I was then told they didn’t have enough intensive care cots – Twin 2 would need to be moved to another hospital and they were waiting for transport. I remember feeling over-whelmed and light headed. I had to sit down. I couldn’t process it all. I think my fiancé could see I was totally out of it and did all the talking. I just looked at the clear boxes with my children inside. I just felt so disconnected and scared.My girls were in 2 different hospitals for 1 week before being reunited.

They were in hospital for just over 2 months. I was there 6 days of every week.

It was the most emotional time in my life.It’s amazing the inner strength but I know my close friends and family helped me through it and kept me sane. It refocuses your mind and it might sound cliché but the people around you are the most important thing. Everything else is BS. I am also fully aware of how lucky I am. I witnessed a family lose a child and saw babies that needed operations – another layer of being a mother to premature babies I thankfully didn’t experience.

I can happily say, I am enjoying watching our living miracles Ayanna Hope and Azaria Faith grow 🙂

Without Hope there’s no Faith.

With Faith, there’s Hope.

About the author

Georgia is a mother who has decided to live out loud after motherhood took the wind out of her! From finding out she was going to be a mother of twins, then them being born at 27 weeks (two and a half months early), it was a rollercoaster but sharing the whole experience on platforms such as Make Motherhood Diverse has reminded her that she wasn’t alone despite not feeling included in the mainstream vision of motherhood.
Georgia regularly shares the realities of being a mother of twins on her Instagram page while still craving her own piece of the world. It’s a mixture of meltdowns and giggles and Black British Motherhood in all its glory.
Georgia has a background in beauty as a qualified make-up artist and eyelash technician. She ran a beauty business providing pamper treatments for private and corporate clients, and has also worked on a multitude of events including influencers book launches for Zoella and Tanya Burr, and brands such as Wilko and Pixi beauty. Despite her love for beauty, she is fully aware of the lack of diversity and poorly executed campaigns when brands want to appear diverse.

Georgia is a confident communicator and loves to chat about all things motherhood, womanhood and diversity (or the lack thereof) in the media and beauty world, all from a Black British Londoner perspective.

Feel free to contact Georgia via the contact page.

Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is a beautiful blog and I am looking forward to following you.

  2. Georgia this is a beautiful piece of writing. When people say ‘I can’t imagine what you went through’ you have helped them. During my twin pregnancy because of early issues with horrific bleeding I was convinced they would be born early. They actually weren’t, we were very lucky. I’m so glad everything turned out OK for you and your girls, although obviously the hard work continues in raising twins! For us it was quite a liberating moment when we stopped feeling guilty because we were so lucky to have not one but two IVF babies, and allowed ourselves to be normal parents who are allowed to complain about being tired! xx

    1. Thank you. I wanted to give insight its tough and sometimes you cant verbally express what your feeling.I know at first I couldn’t but writing this really helped.

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